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Site News

Sunday, September 14th, 2014

When you don’t post for six months the news we’re about to announce becomes pretty obvious so we’ll cut it short.

Our hosting expires in a week or two and when it does we aren’t renew.

To paraphrase someone famous, “This [website shutdown] takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world, a world that our beloved [website] gave [its] life to protect and nourish. [It] did not feel that sacrifice a vain or empty one. Of my [website], I can only say this. Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, …[its] was the most …human.”

Okay, so maybe that entire monologue from Star Trek II doesn’t really summarize anything. It still looked good on the page, didn’t it?

Ultimately our writers just don’t have time to maintain a site. We have kids and lives and jobs and stuff.

Fortunately there are great options out there for Buckeye fans of which we’re sure you’re already aware. And if you really miss us we’ll always be where we’ve always – and more regularly – been: Twitters and stuff.

Thanks for joining us in our contests and stuff – it was fun!

On Civility, The Internet, Et Cetera

Monday, March 24th, 2014

NOTE – Apologies if we’ve written this post before. It sure feels like we have.

What do you want me to do? LEAVE? Then they'll keep being wrong!

Everyone on the internet, all the time.

Every time Ohio State loses or plays badly, there are a few people who feel the need to make asses of themselves on Twitter or Facebook or CompuServe or MySpace or whatever the kids are using nowadays. They say terrible things to current players, coaches, media folks, and pretty much anyone who will listen expressing their unhappiness with the current situation. Assuming they’re posting from these United States, that’s their right and they won’t get jailed for it*. Is this what we would consider “good behavior”? Absolutely not. Do we spend much time correcting such behavior? Absolutely not. Do we spend ANY time correcting such behavior? Probably not.

* – Exceptions apply. Consult a lawyer if you’re not sure.

Our stance – by which we mean the editorial policy of The Buckeye Ninja and is as follows:

  1. Each individual is responsible for his or her own decision-making and behavior.
  2. The great majority of people are assholes, ourselves included.
  3. In any group of people, there are going to be people who don’t strive to control or contain their innate qualities that make them assholes.
  4. Because of (1), anyone who fits the description in (3) is responsible for his or her own dickish behavior.
  5. Because of (4) and (1) one can’t make reasonable judgments about a group of people based on the actions of a few individuals.
  6. If people decide to behave like assholes, that is their right and any consequences that happen as a result of their behavior should fall on them alone, even they’re in groups we cohabit. In other words, having a few assholes in your fan base does not mean the entire fan base is made up of assholes.
  7. Because of (6) and (1), we feel no need or responsibility to correct the behavior of a tiny minority of people because their asshole qualities do not reflect upon us. Also…
  8. Because of (2) and (3) even if we try and succeed to change one person’s or ten people’s behavior, there will always be more assholes whose behavior we have now committed ourselves to trying to change.
  9. We have kids, man. We don’t have time for (8).


Anecdote: A few years ago Reds pitcher Mat Latos was having a little bit of a rough game and we saw several people bemoaning that some dick Reds fans were saying rude things to Latos’ wife on Twitter. Our first instinct was to mention her and say something like “Don’t worry, we’re not all assholes like that” since they were new to the Reds and all but first we decided to check her mentions.

Literally 99.99% of her mentions were people saying “Don’t worry, we’re not all assholes like that” or berating the two people who had made snarky remarks about Latos messing up their fantasy teams. Seriously, there were two “bad apples” (and what they had said to her wasn’t even really all that bad, considering – no vulgarity or anything) and several hundred people collectively losing their shit as a result.

So we didn’t say anything, because what really needed to be said?

It happens all the time, especially on Twitter. Everyone feels the need to correct other people’s behavior because they think for some reason it reflects on them.

“Aha!” you say. “You’re trying to correct the behavior of the people who are trying to correct other people’s behavior!”

First off, who says a-ha anymore unless they’re referring to “Take On Me“? Second, in a way you’re correct except that our goal isn’t to correct any behavior. We’re just pointing out that correcting behavior is a futile journey that will only end in disappointment and misanthropy.

Take a look at Best Fans St. Louis. Do you think we would suddenly say “Cardinals fans are really great people!” if their collective behavior matched the mythology? Hell no we wouldn’t. They cheer for the enemy so they’re the enemy, no matter if they’re all gooey nice or not (and of course based on our editorial policy we have already established that they aren’t – not all of them anyway.)

We promise the following: we will always talk about TTUN fans being terrible, terrible people. Because if they weren’t, why would they root for TTUN? But we also won’t dwell on the dickish words and behaviors of people who root for our teams. Keep your aim downrange, kids.

We advise you to remember that no one made you the civility police; you don’t have a badge, and you don’t have a gun. Just relax. Or don’t. Whatever, it’s your life.

The end.

BBN Livechat – Tournament Basketball

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Join us while the basketball Buckeyes play tournament basketball. And hopefully win a lot of games.



Wednesday, February 12th, 2014

housekeepingYes, yes. We haven’t really posted much. To be fair, 2014 has been a pretty awful year to be a Buckeye fan. There was the Orange bowl debacle, the almost blowout, almost comeback heartbreaker loss to Sparty in basketball. There was the whole month of January really for basketball. Then there was last night’s embarrassing loss to TTUN in basketball for the first time in Columbus since 2003. That was awful but the pain was lessened for us because, you know, it’s basketball.

On the bright side, the Spring Game isn’t that far away, and we always look forward to seeing performances that have hardly any bearing on the upcoming football season.

Seriously, has Mike Thomas testified against the mob yet or is he still in witness protection?

There’s recruiting news and apparently Urban the First and his staff pulled in a pretty nice haul. Like the Spring Game though, it’s tough for us to get too invested in recruiting news because so much of it is guesswork. It makes the NFL Draft look like real science – the same NFL Draft where more than half of all first round picks become busts.

Oh yeah, the NFL Draft is coming up. We believe we can speak for all Bengals fans when we say “eh, whatever.” Fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.

There’s baseball, where pitchers and catchers have begun reporting for Spring Training. Of course, we’re Reds fans which means we have the Skip Schumaker signing to get excited about. And…nope that’s about it.

So please to forgive for not posting much lately. Once March Madness kicks in we’ll be running another contest that hopefully we do a little better in than Bowl Mania. And hopefully we’ll be rolling out a bit of new content once a week or so until the bread and butter of our site starts again in August.

In the meantime, you can follow us on the Twitters. GOGOGO!

The Buckeye Ninja’s Annual Bowl Pick-em Contest

Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

Once upon a time we gave away an autographed baseball to the winner of this contest. This year we may, as has been our recent habit, give away nothing. Can you afford to take that chance?

If, like the smart reader we are sure you are, you say “no” to this prospect, we challenge you to test your might and picking talent against our stable of talented writers. And me.

Just click here and sign up. It’s easy. And if it’s not you’re probably doing it wrong. No offense.

The Buckeye Ninja’s Top 15: Who-Gives-An-Eff Edition

Tuesday, December 10th, 2013

Top 15

@BuckeyeEmpire @TheBuckeyeNinja Its the only legit poll in the nation bro…

— Marshall (@marshallsheldon) October 27, 2013

Yeah, so none of us really gave a crap for some reason. Strangely there weren’t any ties this week.

Dropped out: Northern Illinois, Duke, Arizona State


  Team Last Change
1 Florida State (3) 1 0
2 Sparty 7 +5
3 Auburn 3 0
5 Baylor 8 +3
6 Buckeyes 2 -4
7 Missouri 4 -3
8 Stanford 9 +1
9 Oklahoma N/R +7
10 Oklahoma State 6 -4
11 Oregon 11 0
12 South Carolina 13 +1
13 Clemson 14 +1
14 UCF 15 +1
15 LSU N/R +1

Also receiving one vote: Arizona State, Louisville

Discuss among yourselves. Or don’t. Whatever

The Buckeye Ninja’s Bottom 5 Poll

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013

This is a very special moment. Now that the regular season is over, most of the worst teams in college football are finished with their seasons, mercifully for their fans. Still, with all the talk of “Conference A is better than Conference B” and “Team A would have lost three more games if they’d played Team B’s schedule” there’s not a lot of talk about who is really horrible.

Our contributors voted on this very matter and what follows are the results of this, the first annual Buckeye Ninja’s Bottom Five Poll.

#5 - Virginia (ACC) 2-10 (0-8)






#4 – Kentucky (SEC) 2-10 (0-8)






#3 – California (Pac-12) 1-11 (0-9)






#2 – Purdue (B1G) 1-11 (0-8)






And the worst team in college football this year is…


The Buckeye Ninja’s Top 15: Week 14

Monday, December 2nd, 2013

Top 15

@BuckeyeEmpire @TheBuckeyeNinja Its the only legit poll in the nation bro…

— Marshall (@marshallsheldon) October 27, 2013

That was some week, eh?

Clemson dropped big and three Pac-12 schools jumped up. Not really because we collectively think they’re better but because seriously what the hell this season?

Dropped out: Fresno State, Wisconsin


  Team Last Change
1 Florida State (3) 1 0
2 Buckeyes 2 0
3 Auburn 4 +1
4 Missouri 5 +1
6 Oklahoma State 6 0
7 Sparty 7 0
8 Baylor 9 +1
9 Stanford 11 +2
10 Arizona State N/R +6
11 Oregon 14 +3
12 Northern Illinois 13 +1
13 South Carolina 13 0
14 Clemson 7 -7
15 Duke N/R +1
15 (tie) UCF N/R +1

Also receiving one vote: Oklahoma

Discuss among yourselves.

What do you want to see tomorrow?

Friday, November 29th, 2013

Just this.

Why WE Hate

Friday, November 29th, 2013

Yesterday Michael at Eleven Warriors wrote a phenomenal post about why he hates That Team Up North. Our hatred doesn’t go back that far, mainly because we don’t remember FDR as President (YOU’RE OLD, MICHAEL! YOU’RE OLD!) As time continues to flow inexorably towards Armageddon or The Rock or whatever Michael Bay film is closest to the end of time, we realize that we have a pretty solid hatred of TTUN built up ourselves. For damn good reason.

For example:

That Time Shawn Springs Slipped
In 1996 the Buckeyes were undefeated. We were freshmen at The Ohio State University (est. 1870 in accordance with the Morrill Land Grant Act of 1862) 18 years old, and nursing our first hangover. This after having drank too much for the first – and sadly not last – time and providing our roommate in Alma Wacker Paterson Hall with ammunition to use while mocking us for years afterwards (17 so far to this point.) We sat in the dorm room next door to ours, avoiding sitting in front of the window because the sun made us want to throw up some more, somehow. We watched our undefeated Buckeyes lose a close game to a clearly inferior team. And it was all because Shawn Springs slipped on a slant route by Tai Streets and allowed him a long score from BRIAN GRIESE*. Sure, it might have been more complicated than that, but that’s what we remember. If Joe Germaine and David Boston and company hadn’t pulled off the Rose Bowl against Arizona State a month later we might have been permanently damaged.

* – The same Brian Griese who spent the entirety of Ohio State’s 60-35 win over Illinois a few weeks ago being paid by ESPN to bash the Buckeyes and all but beg voters to jump Baylor, Stanford, Notre Dame, and Eastern Illinois ahead of them. For “struggling” in a game they scored 60 points and won by 25. Suck it, Brian Griese.

That Time Charles Woodson and David Boston Got Into It
The next year TTUN was undefeated and we had only lost one game. We spent a lot of the game playing Hogan’s Alley on a friend’s NES and drinking Bud Ice* while it was going on. Mainly because – to us at 19 anyway – the Buckeyes really didn’t seem competitive in the game at all. Which, looking back, what the hell, Cooper? Our memories of the game are limited to David Boston taunting on a long touchdown even though the Buckeyes were still losing and our car getting stolen the same day. Also breaking up with our girlfriend and watching Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Talk about a crappy day.

* – The next time we write about how dumb college students are remember this and remember that we know that about which we speak.

When Tom Brady and Then Drew Henson Beat Us
That really happened. Brady, okay, that makes sense. But Drew Henson, I mean, he was better at baseball than football and he wasn’t all that good at baseball. Fortunately for us we missed the 2000 game.

The Time We Lost The Year After We Won The National Championship
Admittedly, this one didn’t sting as much. Probably because of what had happened eleven months prior. Still, our starting RB was Lydell Ross and the Buckeyes gained all of 54 yards on the ground.

The Time They Made Our Whole Conference Look Bad
Yes, some alleged games in January of 2007 and January of 2008 that we don’t remember and are pretty sure were made up by Mark May and Herbie had something to do with it too. But we never lost to a 1-AA school. We especially didn’t when we were ranked in the top ten*. And we sure as hell didn’t lose to Toledo the next year.

* – Can you believe that TTUN team went 9-4 and beat Florida in the Citrus Bowl that year? That Florida, quarterbacked by Heisman Trophy winner and Korean Baptist Church heartthrob Tim Tebow and coached by …umm let’s not talk about that now.

The Time They Made Us Almost Feel Sorry For Them
After the 2009 Game, we felt a disconcerting notion. TTUN was so incompetent, so horrible, that we didn’t fear The Game like we used to. It took a lot of incompetence (see previous entry) but they managed it. That may have been the most unpleasant feeling of all after all the heartbreak, sorrow, and disappointment. We understand a little bit why The Joker wouldn’t let Harley Quinn kill Batman or why any villain in a movie will inexplicably save the good guy. Because they say afterwards “I’m the only one who gets to [beat you].” (In the movies and stories they say kill but let’s not get too crazy here.) It’s painful in its own way to see someone so helpless when you’ve spent years and years imagining them as the spooky monster who lives in your closet and eats babies. This is probably why Frodo couldn’t do away with Gollum. He was just so damn pathetic. And see where that got him?

The Time They Beat Luke Fickell
This was the strangest of all because a couple days after this loss – a winnable game that would have been an awesome upset – Ohio State introduced Urban Meyer as head coach. Also this gave Jabba the Hoke an image of competence as head football coach of TTUN that he might not completely have deserved* but we will continue to nurture if it keeps him at TTUN longer. It’s hard to be angry about that game because the Buckeyes were SO bad that year and the Wolverines were allegedly good.

* – Yes, they won the Sugar Bowl but it was over a weak Virginia Tech team. And yes, we lost in the Gator Bowl that year – thanks Gene! Outside of bowl season the only ranked team they beat was Nebraska. At home. Seriously, look at this schedule. It makes ours this year look like LSU’s in 2007.

The Time Brady Hoke Ate A Baby
We’re not 100% sure this happened. But it wouldn’t surprise us in the least if it did.

So there it is. If that’s not reason enough to hate That Team Up North, we don’t know what is.