Join us and the leading lights of the Buckeye Bloggers’ Network as we discuss the ins, outs, what have yous, and the finer points of game as the Fightin’ Buckeyes of the Olentangy do battle with the Fightin’ Dantonios of Ingham County.
This is a very special moment. Now that the regular season is over, most of the worst teams in college football are finished with their seasons, mercifully for their fans. Still, with all the talk of “Conference A is better than Conference B” and “Team A would have lost three more games if they’d played Team B’s schedule” there’s not a lot of talk about who is really horrible.
Our contributors voted on this very matter and what follows are the results of this, the first annual Buckeye Ninja’s Bottom Five Poll.
#5 - Virginia (ACC) 2-10 (0-8)
#4 – Kentucky (SEC) 2-10 (0-8)
#3 – California (Pac-12) 1-11 (0-9)
#2 – Purdue (B1G) 1-11 (0-8)
And the worst team in college football this year is…
That was some week, eh?
Clemson dropped big and three Pac-12 schools jumped up. Not really because we collectively think they’re better but because seriously what the hell this season?
Dropped out: Fresno State, Wisconsin
Also receiving one vote: Oklahoma
Discuss among yourselves.
Join us and the leading lights of the Buckeye Bloggers’ Network as we discuss the ins, outs, what have yous, and the finer points of this particular salvo fired off by the Fighting Buckeyes of the Olentangy in their campaign to spread Urban’s gospel to the filthy unbelievers of the Midwest and beyond.
Yesterday Michael at Eleven Warriors wrote a phenomenal post about why he hates That Team Up North. Our hatred doesn’t go back that far, mainly because we don’t remember FDR as President (YOU’RE OLD, MICHAEL! YOU’RE OLD!) As time continues to flow inexorably towards Armageddon or The Rock or whatever Michael Bay film is closest to the end of time, we realize that we have a pretty solid hatred of TTUN built up ourselves. For damn good reason.
That Time Shawn Springs Slipped
* – The same Brian Griese who spent the entirety of Ohio State’s 60-35 win over Illinois a few weeks ago being paid by ESPN to bash the Buckeyes and all but beg voters to jump Baylor, Stanford, Notre Dame, and Eastern Illinois ahead of them. For “struggling” in a game they scored 60 points and won by 25. Suck it, Brian Griese.
That Time Charles Woodson and David Boston Got Into It
* – The next time we write about how dumb college students are remember this and remember that we know that about which we speak.
When Tom Brady and Then Drew Henson Beat Us
The Time We Lost The Year After We Won The National Championship
The Time They Made Our Whole Conference Look Bad
* – Can you believe that TTUN team went 9-4 and beat Florida in the Citrus Bowl that year? That Florida, quarterbacked by Heisman Trophy winner and Korean Baptist Church heartthrob Tim Tebow and coached by …umm let’s not talk about that now.
The Time They Made Us Almost Feel Sorry For Them
The Time They Beat Luke Fickell
* – Yes, they won the Sugar Bowl but it was over a weak Virginia Tech team. And yes, we lost in the Gator Bowl that year – thanks Gene! Outside of bowl season the only ranked team they beat was Nebraska. At home. Seriously, look at this schedule. It makes ours this year look like LSU’s in 2007.
The Time Brady Hoke Ate A Baby
So there it is. If that’s not reason enough to hate That Team Up North, we don’t know what is.
Apologies for not getting this out sooner. It’s Thanksgiving and TTUN week, so kindly suck it.
Oregon and Baylor dropped big after losses, the for_er dropping a record eight places after getting e_barrassed by RichRod. Baylor dropped the standard six spots after a loss as is tradition. _ost everyone else pretty _uch just _oved up to fill space aside fro_ Oklaho_a State who predictably went up after beating Baylor. Not a lot of excite_ent otherwise.
Dropped out: _innesota, Texas A&M
Also receiving one vote each: UCF, Duke, LSU
Discuss a_ong yourselves.
Our friends at Buckeye Empire are providing you, the fan, the opportunity to both do something to help a good cause and enrich your own lives as well. How often do you get the chance to do this kind of thing?
Too good to be true? See for yourself.
Just remember that if you win, Woody says to spend all your money SOUTH of the border. Good luck – we’re all counting on you.
Far be it from us to disagree with a legendary corner from the Buckeyes’ most recent national championship. Except that, you know, we are about to do exactly that.
Count us among those amused by TTUN being garbage. Watching them almost lose to Akron and then almost lose to UConn back-to-back weeks was one of the purest, most amazing feelings of euphoria we’ve ever experienced that was legal in all 50 states. It’s been years and years and we still chortle at the words “Appalachian State”. Hell, we will sit around and wait for Kordell Stewart’s Hail Mary that beat the skunkweasels back in the 1950′s even if the rebroadcast of that game is only in the first quarter.
The times when we were able to witness RichRod’s teams flailing around impotently throughout his too-short reign in Ann Arbor* were truly blessed.
* – whore.
Yes, we are aware that the Wolverines’ loss to USC in the 2007 Rose Bowl and the following Appalachian State schadenfreude-fest was one big reason why the B1G is perceived as a step up from junior varsity Pop Warner (along with a few other games that we shall not mention for TOO SOON reasons). However, we submit that this perception would exist even if TTUN had not spent the nights preceding App State blazing up the reefer and laughing among themselves at what an embarrassing opponent they were going to face.
Not to go all conspiracy theorist on you, but when it comes to college football the Big Ten Network is one of the few real competitors to ESPN – who has a deal with the SEC, the ACC, and others when it comes to broadcasting rights. Another major player in college football broadcasting is CBS, who carries SEC games and like one bowl game. If people think the B1G is terrible, they’ll more likely switch to, say, an SEC game when the choice is there. More viewers = more advertising money. More advertising money = more profits. CBS and ESPN are ultimately businesses, and most businesses are in business to make profits. It behooves ESPN and CBS to have a down B1G, and it behooves them to have a dominant SEC.
This isn’t to say the B1G isn’t bad or that the SEC hasn’t been dominant. This is to say that perhaps – just perhaps – the gulf between the conferences hasn’t been as big it’s perceived to be. That perception, of course, being shaped by organizations like ESPN and CBS.
But we’re really digressing from the most basic point – that you have no good reason to root for TTUN this time of year. It’s really basic math:
Ohio State’s opponents’ combined records*: 57-66
In other words, when TTUN plays a common opponent of the Buckeyes, the result of the game has no real impact on the Buckeyes’ cumulative opponents’ win-loss record. If they lose to a B1G opponent that’s not on the Buckeye schedule that just means the B1G is even stronger. There’s no real downside to TTUN being horrible.
* – This includes teams the Buckeyes haven’t yet played but doesn’t include the B1G championship game because we don’t know anything for certain yet and if you think you do, shut up. But if we included it our case would have only been stronger. Trust us.
If you MUST root for TTUN, do so before conference play starts. Or do what we do and acknowledge that TTUN winning helps the Buckeyes while not actually wanting it to happen for schadenfreude-ian reasons. As far as the Buckeyes’ schedule is concerned, we’re just fine strength-wise with TTUN being 4-8 (0-8 in conference) every year. If you’re not fine with it too maybe you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why you would put yourself into a position where TTUN winning would make you happy.
Then consider drinking bleach as penance. Because people who root for TTUN are bad.
All our voters dropped GOBAMAROLLTIDE in the poll, bringing them out of the top two for quite possibly the first time all season. Whether it was a result of their underwhelming performance against Mississippi State or a defensive reaction to seeing the Buckeyes win 60-35 and have the ESPN broadcasters treat it like they were behind 25 the whole game remains to be seen.
Stanford dropped out of the top ten because stop losing to unranked teams.
Dropped out: UCF
Also receiving one vote each: Fresno State, Arizona State, UCLA
Discuss among yourselves.