Archive for the ‘BuckeyeSphere’ Category

On Civility, The Internet, Et Cetera

Monday, March 24th, 2014

NOTE – Apologies if we’ve written this post before. It sure feels like we have.

What do you want me to do? LEAVE? Then they'll keep being wrong!

Everyone on the internet, all the time.

Every time Ohio State loses or plays badly, there are a few people who feel the need to make asses of themselves on Twitter or Facebook or CompuServe or MySpace or whatever the kids are using nowadays. They say terrible things to current players, coaches, media folks, and pretty much anyone who will listen expressing their unhappiness with the current situation. Assuming they’re posting from these United States, that’s their right and they won’t get jailed for it*. Is this what we would consider “good behavior”? Absolutely not. Do we spend much time correcting such behavior? Absolutely not. Do we spend ANY time correcting such behavior? Probably not.

* – Exceptions apply. Consult a lawyer if you’re not sure.

Our stance – by which we mean the editorial policy of The Buckeye Ninja and is as follows:

  1. Each individual is responsible for his or her own decision-making and behavior.
  2. The great majority of people are assholes, ourselves included.
  3. In any group of people, there are going to be people who don’t strive to control or contain their innate qualities that make them assholes.
  4. Because of (1), anyone who fits the description in (3) is responsible for his or her own dickish behavior.
  5. Because of (4) and (1) one can’t make reasonable judgments about a group of people based on the actions of a few individuals.
  6. If people decide to behave like assholes, that is their right and any consequences that happen as a result of their behavior should fall on them alone, even they’re in groups we cohabit. In other words, having a few assholes in your fan base does not mean the entire fan base is made up of assholes.
  7. Because of (6) and (1), we feel no need or responsibility to correct the behavior of a tiny minority of people because their asshole qualities do not reflect upon us. Also…
  8. Because of (2) and (3) even if we try and succeed to change one person’s or ten people’s behavior, there will always be more assholes whose behavior we have now committed ourselves to trying to change.
  9. We have kids, man. We don’t have time for (8).


Anecdote: A few years ago Reds pitcher Mat Latos was having a little bit of a rough game and we saw several people bemoaning that some dick Reds fans were saying rude things to Latos’ wife on Twitter. Our first instinct was to mention her and say something like “Don’t worry, we’re not all assholes like that” since they were new to the Reds and all but first we decided to check her mentions.

Literally 99.99% of her mentions were people saying “Don’t worry, we’re not all assholes like that” or berating the two people who had made snarky remarks about Latos messing up their fantasy teams. Seriously, there were two “bad apples” (and what they had said to her wasn’t even really all that bad, considering – no vulgarity or anything) and several hundred people collectively losing their shit as a result.

So we didn’t say anything, because what really needed to be said?

It happens all the time, especially on Twitter. Everyone feels the need to correct other people’s behavior because they think for some reason it reflects on them.

“Aha!” you say. “You’re trying to correct the behavior of the people who are trying to correct other people’s behavior!”

First off, who says a-ha anymore unless they’re referring to “Take On Me“? Second, in a way you’re correct except that our goal isn’t to correct any behavior. We’re just pointing out that correcting behavior is a futile journey that will only end in disappointment and misanthropy.

Take a look at Best Fans St. Louis. Do you think we would suddenly say “Cardinals fans are really great people!” if their collective behavior matched the mythology? Hell no we wouldn’t. They cheer for the enemy so they’re the enemy, no matter if they’re all gooey nice or not (and of course based on our editorial policy we have already established that they aren’t – not all of them anyway.)

We promise the following: we will always talk about TTUN fans being terrible, terrible people. Because if they weren’t, why would they root for TTUN? But we also won’t dwell on the dickish words and behaviors of people who root for our teams. Keep your aim downrange, kids.

We advise you to remember that no one made you the civility police; you don’t have a badge, and you don’t have a gun. Just relax. Or don’t. Whatever, it’s your life.

The end.

Why WE Hate

Friday, November 29th, 2013

Yesterday Michael at Eleven Warriors wrote a phenomenal post about why he hates That Team Up North. Our hatred doesn’t go back that far, mainly because we don’t remember FDR as President (YOU’RE OLD, MICHAEL! YOU’RE OLD!) As time continues to flow inexorably towards Armageddon or The Rock or whatever Michael Bay film is closest to the end of time, we realize that we have a pretty solid hatred of TTUN built up ourselves. For damn good reason.

For example:

That Time Shawn Springs Slipped
In 1996 the Buckeyes were undefeated. We were freshmen at The Ohio State University (est. 1870 in accordance with the Morrill Land Grant Act of 1862) 18 years old, and nursing our first hangover. This after having drank too much for the first – and sadly not last – time and providing our roommate in Alma Wacker Paterson Hall with ammunition to use while mocking us for years afterwards (17 so far to this point.) We sat in the dorm room next door to ours, avoiding sitting in front of the window because the sun made us want to throw up some more, somehow. We watched our undefeated Buckeyes lose a close game to a clearly inferior team. And it was all because Shawn Springs slipped on a slant route by Tai Streets and allowed him a long score from BRIAN GRIESE*. Sure, it might have been more complicated than that, but that’s what we remember. If Joe Germaine and David Boston and company hadn’t pulled off the Rose Bowl against Arizona State a month later we might have been permanently damaged.

* – The same Brian Griese who spent the entirety of Ohio State’s 60-35 win over Illinois a few weeks ago being paid by ESPN to bash the Buckeyes and all but beg voters to jump Baylor, Stanford, Notre Dame, and Eastern Illinois ahead of them. For “struggling” in a game they scored 60 points and won by 25. Suck it, Brian Griese.

That Time Charles Woodson and David Boston Got Into It
The next year TTUN was undefeated and we had only lost one game. We spent a lot of the game playing Hogan’s Alley on a friend’s NES and drinking Bud Ice* while it was going on. Mainly because – to us at 19 anyway – the Buckeyes really didn’t seem competitive in the game at all. Which, looking back, what the hell, Cooper? Our memories of the game are limited to David Boston taunting on a long touchdown even though the Buckeyes were still losing and our car getting stolen the same day. Also breaking up with our girlfriend and watching Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Talk about a crappy day.

* – The next time we write about how dumb college students are remember this and remember that we know that about which we speak.

When Tom Brady and Then Drew Henson Beat Us
That really happened. Brady, okay, that makes sense. But Drew Henson, I mean, he was better at baseball than football and he wasn’t all that good at baseball. Fortunately for us we missed the 2000 game.

The Time We Lost The Year After We Won The National Championship
Admittedly, this one didn’t sting as much. Probably because of what had happened eleven months prior. Still, our starting RB was Lydell Ross and the Buckeyes gained all of 54 yards on the ground.

The Time They Made Our Whole Conference Look Bad
Yes, some alleged games in January of 2007 and January of 2008 that we don’t remember and are pretty sure were made up by Mark May and Herbie had something to do with it too. But we never lost to a 1-AA school. We especially didn’t when we were ranked in the top ten*. And we sure as hell didn’t lose to Toledo the next year.

* – Can you believe that TTUN team went 9-4 and beat Florida in the Citrus Bowl that year? That Florida, quarterbacked by Heisman Trophy winner and Korean Baptist Church heartthrob Tim Tebow and coached by …umm let’s not talk about that now.

The Time They Made Us Almost Feel Sorry For Them
After the 2009 Game, we felt a disconcerting notion. TTUN was so incompetent, so horrible, that we didn’t fear The Game like we used to. It took a lot of incompetence (see previous entry) but they managed it. That may have been the most unpleasant feeling of all after all the heartbreak, sorrow, and disappointment. We understand a little bit why The Joker wouldn’t let Harley Quinn kill Batman or why any villain in a movie will inexplicably save the good guy. Because they say afterwards “I’m the only one who gets to [beat you].” (In the movies and stories they say kill but let’s not get too crazy here.) It’s painful in its own way to see someone so helpless when you’ve spent years and years imagining them as the spooky monster who lives in your closet and eats babies. This is probably why Frodo couldn’t do away with Gollum. He was just so damn pathetic. And see where that got him?

The Time They Beat Luke Fickell
This was the strangest of all because a couple days after this loss – a winnable game that would have been an awesome upset – Ohio State introduced Urban Meyer as head coach. Also this gave Jabba the Hoke an image of competence as head football coach of TTUN that he might not completely have deserved* but we will continue to nurture if it keeps him at TTUN longer. It’s hard to be angry about that game because the Buckeyes were SO bad that year and the Wolverines were allegedly good.

* – Yes, they won the Sugar Bowl but it was over a weak Virginia Tech team. And yes, we lost in the Gator Bowl that year – thanks Gene! Outside of bowl season the only ranked team they beat was Nebraska. At home. Seriously, look at this schedule. It makes ours this year look like LSU’s in 2007.

The Time Brady Hoke Ate A Baby
We’re not 100% sure this happened. But it wouldn’t surprise us in the least if it did.

So there it is. If that’s not reason enough to hate That Team Up North, we don’t know what is.

Win Two Tickets To The Game; Do Good Stuff

Friday, November 22nd, 2013

Our friends at Buckeye Empire are providing you, the fan, the opportunity to both do something to help a good cause and enrich your own lives as well. How often do you get the chance to do this kind of thing?

Too good to be true? See for yourself.

It is not enough to simply beat Michigan on the field or in the classroom. However, there is always one opponent more important than That Team Up North: cancer. That fight is more important than BCS bias, more important than going undefeated, more important than football itself.

Today, and through midnight on Tuesday, November 26th, we’ll have a chance to beat them both. Kicking the Dream is a charity started by current Cleveland Brown’s kicker Billy Cundiff after his mother in law, Colleen Drury was diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer in 2007. Since then, professional kickers have been raising money to help fund research specifically targeted at ovarian cancer.

All we need is your help. Between now and the deadline, donate whatever you can to Billy Cundiff’s cause and you will be entered into the sweepstakes to win tickets to this year’s Game in Ann Arbor. But even if you have no plans on going, you can still help Buckeye Nation out-raise Michigan. If the Scarlet and Gray faithful raise more money than the boys in blue, we’ll pick a winner for the 2 tickets for what is sure to be Urban Meyer’s 24th straight win overall and second in a row against the rivals from the Mitten State. All you have to do to be entered into the drawing is to email a screenshot of your donation to me at

Go to Cundiff’s donation page here and contribute what you can

Just remember that if you win, Woody says to spend all your money SOUTH of the border. Good luck – we’re all counting on you.

BBN Livechat – California

Saturday, September 14th, 2013

Join us and the leading lights of the Buckeye Bloggers’ Network as we discuss the ins, outs, what have yous, and the finer points of this, the third salvo fired off by the Fighting Buckeyes of the Olentangy in their campaign to spread Urban’s gospel to the filthy unbelievers of the Midwest and beyond.

Introduction to the BuckeyeSphere

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

It’s not much of a secret that simply having a degree from a journalism school and having a job working in the industry doesn’t by itself get you a whole lot of respect from me as someone who understands what he’s talking about*. Over at NDNS I’ve been known to rant on Twitter from time to time about baseball beat writers who write things that show they don’t know nearly as much about baseball as their followers think. This isn’t to say that all journalists are incompetent hacks who don’t understand most of that which they report. But some of them are.

* – the first time I read about the Gell-Mann Amnesia Effect it changed my life. I’m not sure it was for the better yet because it sure made me even more cynical somehow.

Now, I told you all that to tell you this: there are a ton of awesome people who provide content for Buckeye fans on a daily basis out here on the internet – I’ve been calling it the BuckeyeSphere just because I thought it sounded kind of cool. These guys write and write and write, posting multiple articles every day, year round (and if you haven’t tried this, trust me – it’s a lot harder than it looks. I’m terrible at it.) Every one of these guys works his or her butt off providing information and analysis to Buckeye fans and very very few – if any of them – do so for a living.

Of all the teams I follow the Buckeyes easily have the largest fanbase and – as a result – the most prolific writer base. And there’s at least one site for anyone out there depending on your tastes.

  • Men of the Scarlet and Gray - the classic that’s been there since Eddie George (it seems) and somehow manages to keep getting better.* They took a chance on a nobody in Colorado a few years ago who ended up not having the kind of time he’d expected to write for them, but he’ll always appreciate their kindness in getting him into this community. No one loves Vernon Gholston’s guns more.
  • There’s Eleven Warriors - the massive SHEILD Heli-carrier of the BuckeyeSphere. It hovers over everything, kicking ass, taking names, making sure we eat our vegetables.
  • The Buckeye Battle Cry - where they’ve been bringing everyone else together for years and showing how a bunch of amateurs can turn out stuff that makes it look easy.
  • Then there’s the irreverent upstart Buckeye Empire that brings an off-kilter approach to delivering all things Buckeye and just knocks it out of the park every time.
  • Over at SB Nation there are Land Grant Holy Land and Off Tackle Empire (which covers the B1G as a whole) both of whom make you realize how below-average a writer you actually are. In a good way.

* – Seriously: read this and then come back.

This is by no means complete – it’s just the sites with which I personally have dealt over the years. Each one of them is staffed by anywhere from a couple to (in 11W’s case) seemingly dozens of talented writers that you can find on Twitter in just about every Buckeye fan’s follow list. And most of them are awesome, friendly guys and ladies who will bring you right in and talk Buckeyes with you whether you’ve just started following them in the Urban Era or you’ve been around since Woody or Earle.

Except for Michael at 11w. He’s a cranky old man. Seriously, if anyone has a “get off my lawn” kind of attitude it’s him. It’s his daily proximity to UF and the rest of the SEC, I think.

Kidding – Michael is awesome too.

If you’re here you probably already knew this. But I couldn’t take the chance that you might be new to the area, so to speak, and just accidentally got out of your car in my neck of the woods. So I’d be remiss if I didn’t point you to the big city where the talent really is.

Shockers Livechat

Saturday, March 30th, 2013

Join the BBN as we follow the exploits of a Rosy-cheeked Assassin, LaQuenton Boss, and oh by the way the B1G’s leading scorer against the aptly-named Shockers of Wichita State.

Wildcats Livechat

Thursday, March 28th, 2013

Join the Buckeye Bloggers’ Network as we talk a bunch of crap about Arizona, alma mater for Sandra Bullock’s character in Speed.

Cyclones Livechat

Sunday, March 24th, 2013

Join the Buckeye Bloggers’ Network here as we make snarky remarks about the Buckeyes’ performance in the round of 32.

It’s hard for us to hate Iowa State too much having long long long long long ago dated someone who attended law school at Iowa, but we are confident we can make it happen. Go Bucks!

Gophers Livechat

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

We’re not saying the Fightin’ Buckeyes of the Olentangy spent their time throwing up all over themselves since getting robbed coming up just short in Ann Arbor because we didn’t post the livechats, but- wait, that is what we’re saying.

Livechat it up here.

TTUN Livechat

Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

The Fightin’ Buckeyes of the Olentangy travel to Ann Arbor* to do battle with the skunkweasels. Discuss.

*-who, coincidentally, is a whore.