I know, compilations are just about the easiest and laziest posts to write. So?
Cincinnati sports fan – gets apples every year; keeps going to the same house bc an apple’s better than nothing.
Cardinals fan – gets nothing all night; last house gets EVERYTHING IN WILLY WONKA’S DAMN FACTORY!
Cleveland sports fan – gets candy with razor blades inside it; mocks neighbor that gets apples.
Forgot to add to the Cincinnati fan – gets apples but mocks neighbor that gets razor blades. Like apples are better.
Buckeye – gets best candy in neighborhood. Mom takes it away at the end of the night over stupid BS
Hawkeye – Jeremy Renner tears ACL. No candy for you.
Denard Robinson – gets Snickers & Reese’s Cups from first two houses. Gives them back. Gets Mounds rest of night
Pizza Delivery Guy – tells people they suck at giving out candy; gets fired.
Kentucky football fan – gets no candy & brags that other neighborhood kids get full-size candy bars.
Just kidding – there’s no such thing as a Kentucky football fan.
Brian Kelly – Promises candy to your kids, then moves to anther state and possibly kills a kid or two.
Rich Rodriguez – comes into your house, destroys everything in sight, leaves. Hallelujah.
Chad Ochocinco – Jumps in front of every camera, demanding parents take pictures of his awesome costume.
Keep coming back – I’ll be adding more as I think of them and find them.