The Buckeye Ninja’s Bottom 5 Poll

December 3rd, 2013  / Author: The Buckeye Ninja

This is a very special moment. Now that the regular season is over, most of the worst teams in college football are finished with their seasons, mercifully for their fans. Still, with all the talk of “Conference A is better than Conference B” and “Team A would have lost three more games if they’d played Team B’s schedule” there’s not a lot of talk about who is really horrible.

Our contributors voted on this very matter and what follows are the results of this, the first annual Buckeye Ninja’s Bottom Five Poll.

#5 - Virginia (ACC) 2-10 (0-8)

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#4 – Kentucky (SEC) 2-10 (0-8)

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#3 – California (Pac-12) 1-11 (0-9)

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#2 – Purdue (B1G) 1-11 (0-8)

Purdue_helmet

 

 

 

 

And the worst team in college football this year is…

Read the rest of this entry »

The Buckeye Ninja’s Top 15: Week 14

December 2nd, 2013  / Author: The Buckeye Ninja

Top 15

@BuckeyeEmpire @TheBuckeyeNinja Its the only legit poll in the nation bro…

— Marshall (@marshallsheldon) October 27, 2013

That was some week, eh?

Clemson dropped big and three Pac-12 schools jumped up. Not really because we collectively think they’re better but because seriously what the hell this season?

Dropped out: Fresno State, Wisconsin

 

  Team Last Change
1 Florida State (3) 1 0
2 Buckeyes 2 0
3 Auburn 4 +1
4 Missouri 5 +1
5 GOBAMAROLLTIDE 3 -2
6 Oklahoma State 6 0
7 Sparty 7 0
8 Baylor 9 +1
9 Stanford 11 +2
10 Arizona State N/R +6
11 Oregon 14 +3
12 Northern Illinois 13 +1
13 South Carolina 13 0
14 Clemson 7 -7
15 Duke N/R +1
15 (tie) UCF N/R +1

Also receiving one vote: Oklahoma

Discuss among yourselves.

Fights, Salutes, and Speculation

December 2nd, 2013  / Author: Pete Hitzeman

The 110th edition of The Game was one for the ages. It had everything, from flashy offense, to clutch defense, to nervous tension, to flaring tempers. It ended with a one point margin, defied everyone’s expectations, and thrilled fans of all persuasions. But in the wake of such a game, the grousing from “fans” of TTUN has reared its predictable, ugly head.

I spent part of the game in the den of the enemy, courtesy of a holiday trip to see my in-laws in Virginia Beach. They’re all (supposedly) fans of TTUN, but when it came time for The Game to start, they were making pancakes. Pancakes. At kickoff. They paused The Game and went about their business making brunch, leaving time suspended on the television for nearly an hour. The only conclusion I could draw is that they aren’t really fans out of devoted passion, but out of disgusting habit, something I’m finding to be typical of their ilk.

But The Game is not a sitcom, to be DVR’d and watched at your convenience. It is the culmination of a season of work, an annual ritual more sacred than any other secular event, and it is not to be ignored while it is happening. Certainly not for pancakes and mimosas, anyway. I did what I could do in the face of such a travesty, pulling up a live stream on my laptop and watching, as quietly as I could, as an all-out gridiron war ensued.

Halfway through the second quarter, after the teams had exchanged blows both on the scoreboard and on the field, they finally sat down to watch, from the beginning. I knew what I was in for… Endless replays of the fight, finger pointing, jeering and baseless accusations regarding the conduct of my beloved Buckeyes, all while the game marched on in real time, ahead of where we could ever catch up. So I did the reasonable thing, and when The Game went to commercial, I gathered my wife and left, heading over to the local BW3 to watch the remainder in relative peace, and preserve whatever familial harmony might be left.

There were a respectable number of Buckeye fans at the bar, and when the game ended as it did, the place erupted in pandemonium. I was high fiving strangers, hugging our waitress (who hailed from Akron), jumping and yelling and dancing… And so was everybody else, save the two token Michigan fans at the table behind us. The agony of The Game was relieved by the ecstasy of a narrow, last-minute victory. We would have hung around for the Iron Bowl, had not the table next to us been filled with apparently illiterate GOBAMAROLLTIDE fans, who tried chanting S-E-C through tobacco-stuffed lips, over the roar of the Buckeye faithful after the win. They would be more insufferable, I thought, than returning to my in-laws, so we went home.

Of course, given how that game ended, we should have stuck around just for the comedic value.

I digress. By the time we arrived back home to Ohio last evening, my timelines were full of petty grumbles and meaningless recriminations, almost exclusively from demoralized followers of Ann Arbor’s Abomination. Say what you want about Ohio State fans; that we are grumpy, obnoxious, pessimistic, hatred-filled jerkfaces. But when we lose, we own it. TTUN, on the other hand, loves to play the victim, and so do their fans. Let’s wade into some of their whining, shall we?

The fight was “sad” and Marcus Hall’s twin salute upon being ejected was “classless.” As a senior (at the ripe age of 22, mind) he should have the maturity to control his emotions.

Or maybe the thuggish behavior of a classless Michigan team precipitated exactly the reality they wanted. Maybe the coaching staff in Ann Arbor has failed to instill respect and discipline in their own team, things you should display at all times, especially in front of your home crowd.

Maybe a senior in college, playing in one of the most important games of his career, against his team’s arch rival, in their stadium, reacted to being tossed for a fight he didn’t start by being upset. Crazy, right? And maybe while exiting the stadium, amid the raucous booing and hurled expletives from tens of thousands of (classy?) opposing fans, he decided to vent his emotion the best way he knew how.

Maybe I’d have done the same thing. Maybe, just maybe, you would have too.

The Buckeyes’ narrow victory should be cause for doubt as to their strength, and assuming they both win their respective conferences, Auburn is the rightful entry to the national title game.

Or maybe it’s harder than one might think to walk into one of the loudest home fields in the country, against a rival that you’ve played 109 times, who has ruined your season more times than anyone cares to remember, and pull out a victory. Maybe an honest assessment of The Game and its history by a rational observer would say that any team who walks out with a victory earned it, especially stealing it on their opponent’s home soil.

Maybe an honest assessment of the performance of ESPN’s favorite conference (the SEC, in case you hadn’t noticed) this year would show that they’re just as mediocre as everybody else. That Alabama lost because, well, they just aren’t that great this season, and Auburn has won twice now on blind luck and their opponents’ mistakes. Maybe we should call conferences beating up on their own parity, or mediocrity, but be consistent with whichever label across all conferences.

Or maybe people just conveniently forgot that Auburn lost to a very middle-of-the-road LSU team this season, and Ohio State hasn’t lost in 24 games.

Ohio State’s win streak is mostly down to its relatively weak schedule, again due to the Big 10 being just this side of a high school league in terms of talent.

Or maybe almost nobody in the top 25 has a schedule that’s worth a damn this year. Maybe, when evaluated statistically, a bunch of the top schools, including Alabama, Florida State and Ohio State aren’t even in the top 50 in strength of schedule. Winning programs play to win, and that includes when they sit down to write their schedules. Even after the 1-point win on Saturday, the Buckeyes’ average margin of victory is nearly 28 points– that’s 4 touchdowns, for those of you in Ann Arbor– second only to the Florida State juggernaut (whose rank of schedule is a whopping 66th, 5 places behind the Buckeyes) and Baylor, who is busy falling on their own sword.

 

The facts are these: A bunch of blue-and-yellow thugs surrounded a tackled Ohio State player with the expressed intent of intimidating him. That precipitated a shoving match in what was already a very charged atmosphere. Hard to blame Dontre Wilson for that. Then someone ripped his helmet off and threw it, and someone else headbutted him. So the threw a punch. In his shoes, if you say you’d do different, you’re a dirty liar (and probably a Michigan fan). Also, if you’ve never wanted to walk out of your job after a rough day doing a Marcus Hall impersonation, you’re a dirty liar (and probably a Michigan fan).

Ohio State’s defense had its worst game of the season in Ann Arbor, and TTUN’s offense had its best by far. These sort of things will happen in The Game. And we still won. Alabama lost, like they’ve been trying to do all season. With all respect to a resurgent and exciting Auburn team, they’ve been riding on some very thin luck for two games in a row, and when Lady Luck didn’t show up earlier this season, they lost to LSU.

Next week may or may not lend clarity to the national title debate, as the Buckeyes will face Sparty’s rowdy defense, the Seminoles will probably clobber the Blue Devils, and Auburn may just get punched in the mouth by a ruthless Missouri team. But whatever the outcomes, nothing will remove the joy from the hearts of the Buckeye faithful from stealing one in Ann Arbor. Roll on, Indianapolis.

The Moral Imperative

November 30th, 2013  / Author: Pete Hitzeman

The last Saturday of the regular season in college football is known around the world for one game. Sure, it’s Rivalry Week in general, but the rivalry universally acknowledged as the fiercest, toughest and best is always between The Ohio State University and Michigan. Enough has been said about the history and tradition embodied in The Game, but what has been interesting this year are the personal accounts of what it means to each Buckeye fan.

If you haven’t been in our shoes, maybe you can’t know what this game means to us. If you haven’t lived through the pain and humiliation of the John Cooper era, had your dreams crushed and watched talent wasted through your childhood, maybe you can’t understand how deep the hatred of That Team Up North can run.

I have never attended a single class at The Oho State University. But that hasn’t dampened my affection for my beloved Buckeyes. There is not a time I can remember when I wasn’t an Ohio State fan. It may have happened at birth, when I breathed that first breath of sweet Ohio air. It may have happened when I was a boy, when the only thing that broke up the drudgery of school starting in the fall was Ohio State football on Saturdays.

Saturdays in the fall meant football to me, but they meant the last chance for house work, to my parents. Our little house in Fairborn had wood slat siding that required painting every few years. The shed out back needed a new roof. I was an able body, and so I was expected to work, football or no football. But I had a little pocket AM radio, and while I scraped and primed and painted and nailed, I listened to the games, entranced by the pace and emotion of the broadcasters. Sometimes when the game was over, I’d look back and have no recollection of the last 3 rows of shingles.

I learned in those years to respect the stronger Big Ten teams when they came up on the schedule. The Iowas, the Wisconsins could never be trifled with. But I feared Michigan. They were the lurking shadow waiting at the end of every season, and with Cooper at the helm, our odds were never good. To make things worse, my parents had inexplicably become sympathizers for the enemy. And when we lost, which we often did when I was young, it left a lingering bitterness in my mouth that lasted until the following August.

Losing to the skunk weasels represents every childhood disappointment, every broken promise, every gloomy, rainy day. It is the scoop falling off the ice cream cone onto the filthy pavement. Beating them is a surprise trip to DisneyLand on a private jet to ride jet skis on a school day. It means that everything is right with the world for the next 9 months, no matter what happens in any other sport. To the Buckeye Faithful, it is the only game that really matters all year.

The struggle between The Men of the Olentangy and the whores of Ann Arbor is the struggle of good against evil. Winning is a moral imperative. Beating Michigan should be done without remorse. Evil deserves no mercy, and so Buckeye fans want blowouts. We want to walk into their house and humiliate them. We want 1000 yards of offense for the good guys, and negative yards for the enemy. We want domination.

This year carries even more weight. We’re on the nation’s longest winning streak, but still underdogs to the expectations of the national media. We face tough postseason prospects against Michigan State and (probably) a Rose Bowl opponent, and we have to win today to make it there. But none of that matters today. Today, we must beat Michigan, and ensure all remains right with the world.

What do you want to see tomorrow?

November 29th, 2013  / Author: The Buckeye Ninja

Just this.

Why WE Hate

November 29th, 2013  / Author: The Buckeye Ninja

Yesterday Michael at Eleven Warriors wrote a phenomenal post about why he hates That Team Up North. Our hatred doesn’t go back that far, mainly because we don’t remember FDR as President (YOU’RE OLD, MICHAEL! YOU’RE OLD!) As time continues to flow inexorably towards Armageddon or The Rock or whatever Michael Bay film is closest to the end of time, we realize that we have a pretty solid hatred of TTUN built up ourselves. For damn good reason.

For example:

That Time Shawn Springs Slipped
In 1996 the Buckeyes were undefeated. We were freshmen at The Ohio State University (est. 1870 in accordance with the Morrill Land Grant Act of 1862) 18 years old, and nursing our first hangover. This after having drank too much for the first – and sadly not last – time and providing our roommate in Alma Wacker Paterson Hall with ammunition to use while mocking us for years afterwards (17 so far to this point.) We sat in the dorm room next door to ours, avoiding sitting in front of the window because the sun made us want to throw up some more, somehow. We watched our undefeated Buckeyes lose a close game to a clearly inferior team. And it was all because Shawn Springs slipped on a slant route by Tai Streets and allowed him a long score from BRIAN GRIESE*. Sure, it might have been more complicated than that, but that’s what we remember. If Joe Germaine and David Boston and company hadn’t pulled off the Rose Bowl against Arizona State a month later we might have been permanently damaged.

* – The same Brian Griese who spent the entirety of Ohio State’s 60-35 win over Illinois a few weeks ago being paid by ESPN to bash the Buckeyes and all but beg voters to jump Baylor, Stanford, Notre Dame, and Eastern Illinois ahead of them. For “struggling” in a game they scored 60 points and won by 25. Suck it, Brian Griese.

That Time Charles Woodson and David Boston Got Into It
The next year TTUN was undefeated and we had only lost one game. We spent a lot of the game playing Hogan’s Alley on a friend’s NES and drinking Bud Ice* while it was going on. Mainly because – to us at 19 anyway – the Buckeyes really didn’t seem competitive in the game at all. Which, looking back, what the hell, Cooper? Our memories of the game are limited to David Boston taunting on a long touchdown even though the Buckeyes were still losing and our car getting stolen the same day. Also breaking up with our girlfriend and watching Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Talk about a crappy day.

* – The next time we write about how dumb college students are remember this and remember that we know that about which we speak.

When Tom Brady and Then Drew Henson Beat Us
That really happened. Brady, okay, that makes sense. But Drew Henson, I mean, he was better at baseball than football and he wasn’t all that good at baseball. Fortunately for us we missed the 2000 game.

The Time We Lost The Year After We Won The National Championship
Admittedly, this one didn’t sting as much. Probably because of what had happened eleven months prior. Still, our starting RB was Lydell Ross and the Buckeyes gained all of 54 yards on the ground.

The Time They Made Our Whole Conference Look Bad
Yes, some alleged games in January of 2007 and January of 2008 that we don’t remember and are pretty sure were made up by Mark May and Herbie had something to do with it too. But we never lost to a 1-AA school. We especially didn’t when we were ranked in the top ten*. And we sure as hell didn’t lose to Toledo the next year.

* – Can you believe that TTUN team went 9-4 and beat Florida in the Citrus Bowl that year? That Florida, quarterbacked by Heisman Trophy winner and Korean Baptist Church heartthrob Tim Tebow and coached by …umm let’s not talk about that now.

The Time They Made Us Almost Feel Sorry For Them
After the 2009 Game, we felt a disconcerting notion. TTUN was so incompetent, so horrible, that we didn’t fear The Game like we used to. It took a lot of incompetence (see previous entry) but they managed it. That may have been the most unpleasant feeling of all after all the heartbreak, sorrow, and disappointment. We understand a little bit why The Joker wouldn’t let Harley Quinn kill Batman or why any villain in a movie will inexplicably save the good guy. Because they say afterwards “I’m the only one who gets to [beat you].” (In the movies and stories they say kill but let’s not get too crazy here.) It’s painful in its own way to see someone so helpless when you’ve spent years and years imagining them as the spooky monster who lives in your closet and eats babies. This is probably why Frodo couldn’t do away with Gollum. He was just so damn pathetic. And see where that got him?

The Time They Beat Luke Fickell
This was the strangest of all because a couple days after this loss – a winnable game that would have been an awesome upset – Ohio State introduced Urban Meyer as head coach. Also this gave Jabba the Hoke an image of competence as head football coach of TTUN that he might not completely have deserved* but we will continue to nurture if it keeps him at TTUN longer. It’s hard to be angry about that game because the Buckeyes were SO bad that year and the Wolverines were allegedly good.

* – Yes, they won the Sugar Bowl but it was over a weak Virginia Tech team. And yes, we lost in the Gator Bowl that year – thanks Gene! Outside of bowl season the only ranked team they beat was Nebraska. At home. Seriously, look at this schedule. It makes ours this year look like LSU’s in 2007.

The Time Brady Hoke Ate A Baby
We’re not 100% sure this happened. But it wouldn’t surprise us in the least if it did.

So there it is. If that’s not reason enough to hate That Team Up North, we don’t know what is.

The Buckeye Ninja’s Top 15: Week 13

November 27th, 2013  / Author: The Buckeye Ninja

Top 15

@BuckeyeEmpire @TheBuckeyeNinja Its the only legit poll in the nation bro…

— _arshall (@marshallsheldon) October 27, 2013

Apologies for not getting this out sooner. It’s Thanksgiving and TTUN week, so kindly suck it.

Oregon and Baylor dropped big after losses, the for_er dropping a record eight places after getting e_barrassed by RichRod. Baylor dropped the standard six spots after a loss as is tradition. _ost everyone else pretty _uch just _oved up to fill space aside fro_ Oklaho_a State who predictably went up after beating Baylor. Not a lot of excite_ent otherwise.

Dropped out: _innesota, Texas A&M

 

  Team Last Change
1 Florida State (3) 1 0
2 Buckeyes 2 0
3 GOBAMAROLLTIDE 3 +1
4 Auburn 5 +1
5 Missouri 7 +2
6 Oklahoma State 10 +4
7 Clemson 8 +1
7 (tie) Sparty 9 +2
9 Baylor 3 -6
10 Wisconsin 11 +1
11 Stanford 11 0
12 Northern Illinois 13 +1
13 South Carolina 12 +1
14 Oregon 6 -8
15 Fresno State N/R +1

Also receiving one vote each: UCF, Duke, LSU

Discuss a_ong yourselves.

The Game, a History

November 27th, 2013  / Author: Ye Olde Buckeye

To the uneducated who don’t know why The Game is the biggest, most important, and most significant rivalry in American sports, here’s a little history lesson that doesn’t even include the passion and hatred that are and will always be present.  This is a list of the combatants going into The Game undefeated or ranked in the top 5 since the Poll Era began in 1936 [+ a couple of notable games]:

2013 – us (#3), they are 7-4

2012 – us (#4), they were 8-3 – we won 26-21

2006 – us (#1) & them (#2) – we won 42-39

2003 – us (#4 with one loss) & them (#5 with two losses) – they won 35-21

2002 – us (#2), they were 9-2 – we won 14-9 + a national championship***

1997 – them (#1), we were 10-1 (#4) – they won 20-14 + a national championship***

1996 – us (#2), they were 7-3 – they won 13-9

1995 – us (#2), they were 8-3 – they won 31-23

1993 – us (#5 with a tie), they were 6-4 – they won 28-0

1992 – them (with two ties), we were 8-2 – we tied 13-13

1991 – them (#4 with one loss), we were 8-2 – we won 31-3

1989 – them (#3 with one loss), we were 8-2 – they won 28-18

[1986 – them (#6 with one loss), we were 9-2 (#7) – we won 26-24]

1980 – us (#5 with one loss), they were 8-2 (10) – they won 9-3

1979 – us (#2), they were 8-2 (#13) – we won 18-15

1977 – us (#4 with one loss) & them (#5 with one loss) – they won 14-6

1976 – them (#4 with one loss), we were 8-1-1 (#8) – they won 22-0

1975 – us (#1) & them (#4 with two ties) – we won 21-14

1974 – them (#3) & us (#4 with one loss) – we won 12-10

1973 – us (#1) & them (#4) – tied 10-10 (both ended 10-0-1)

1972 – them (#3), we were 8-1 (#9) – we won 14-11

1971 – them (#4), we were 6-3 – they won 10-7

1970 – them (#4) & us (#5) – we won 20-9 + a national championship***

1969 – us (#1), they were 7-2 (#12) – they won 24-12

1968 – us (#2) & them (#4 with one loss) – we won 50-14 + a national championship***

1961 – us (#2), they were 6-2 – we won 50-20 + a national championship***

1957 – us (#3), they were 5-2-1 (#19) – we won 31-14 + a national championship***

[1955 – them (#6 with one loss), we were 6-2 (#9) – we won 17-0]

1954 – us (#1), they were 6-2 (#12) – we won 20-7 + a national championship***

1949 – them (#5 with two losses), we were 6-1-1 (#7) – we tied 7-7

1948 – them (#1), we were 6-2 (#18) – they won 13-3 + a national championship***

1947 – them (#1), we were 2-5-1 – they won 21-0 + a national championship***

1944 – us (#3), they were 8-1 (#6) – we won 18-14 (Carroll Widdoes was robbed of a title!)

1943 – them (#4 with one loss), we were 3-5 – they won 45-7

1942 – them (#4 with two losses) & us (#5 with one loss) – we won 21-7 + a national championship***

1941 – them (#5 with one loss), we were 6-1 (#14) – we tied 20-20

Win Two Tickets To The Game; Do Good Stuff

November 22nd, 2013  / Author: The Buckeye Ninja

Our friends at Buckeye Empire are providing you, the fan, the opportunity to both do something to help a good cause and enrich your own lives as well. How often do you get the chance to do this kind of thing?

Too good to be true? See for yourself.

It is not enough to simply beat Michigan on the field or in the classroom. However, there is always one opponent more important than That Team Up North: cancer. That fight is more important than BCS bias, more important than going undefeated, more important than football itself.

Today, and through midnight on Tuesday, November 26th, we’ll have a chance to beat them both. Kicking the Dream is a charity started by current Cleveland Brown’s kicker Billy Cundiff after his mother in law, Colleen Drury was diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer in 2007. Since then, professional kickers have been raising money to help fund research specifically targeted at ovarian cancer.

All we need is your help. Between now and the deadline, donate whatever you can to Billy Cundiff’s cause and you will be entered into the sweepstakes to win tickets to this year’s Game in Ann Arbor. But even if you have no plans on going, you can still help Buckeye Nation out-raise Michigan. If the Scarlet and Gray faithful raise more money than the boys in blue, we’ll pick a winner for the 2 tickets for what is sure to be Urban Meyer’s 24th straight win overall and second in a row against the rivals from the Mitten State. All you have to do to be entered into the drawing is to email a screenshot of your donation to me at chris@buckeyeempire.com

Go to Cundiff’s donation page here and contribute what you can

Just remember that if you win, Woody says to spend all your money SOUTH of the border. Good luck – we’re all counting on you.

Why Rooting For TTUN Is Stupid and You’re a Bad Person If You Do

November 21st, 2013  / Author: The Buckeye Ninja

Far be it from us to disagree with a legendary corner from the Buckeyes’ most recent national championship. Except that, you know, we are about to do exactly that.

Count us among those amused by TTUN being garbage. Watching them almost lose to Akron and then almost lose to UConn back-to-back weeks was one of the purest, most amazing feelings of euphoria we’ve ever experienced that was legal in all 50 states. It’s been years and years and we still chortle at the words “Appalachian State”. Hell, we will sit around and wait for Kordell Stewart’s Hail Mary that beat the skunkweasels back in the 1950′s even if the rebroadcast of that game is only in the first quarter.

The times when we were able to witness RichRod’s teams flailing around impotently throughout his too-short reign in Ann Arbor* were truly blessed.

* – whore.

Yes, we are aware that the Wolverines’ loss to USC in the 2007 Rose Bowl and the following Appalachian State schadenfreude-fest was one big reason why the B1G is perceived as a step up from junior varsity Pop Warner (along with a few other games that we shall not mention for TOO SOON reasons). However, we submit that this perception would exist even if TTUN had not spent the nights preceding App State blazing up the reefer and laughing among themselves at what an embarrassing opponent they were going to face.

Not to go all conspiracy theorist on you, but when it comes to college football the Big Ten Network is one of the few real competitors to ESPN – who has a deal with the SEC, the ACC, and others when it comes to broadcasting rights. Another major player in college football broadcasting is CBS, who carries SEC games and like one bowl game. If people think the B1G is terrible, they’ll more likely switch to, say, an SEC game when the choice is there. More viewers = more advertising money. More advertising money = more profits. CBS and ESPN are ultimately businesses, and most businesses are in business to make profits. It behooves ESPN and CBS to have a down B1G, and it behooves them to have a dominant SEC.

This isn’t to say the B1G isn’t bad or that the SEC hasn’t been dominant. This is to say that perhaps – just perhaps – the gulf between the conferences hasn’t been as big it’s perceived to be. That perception, of course, being shaped by organizations like ESPN and CBS.

But we’re really digressing from the most basic point – that you have no good reason to root for TTUN this time of year. It’s really basic math:

Ohio State’s opponents’ combined records*: 57-66
Ohio State’s opponents’ combined records if Michigan had lost to Northwestern: 57-66
Ohio State’s opponents’ combined records if Michigan had lost to Indiana AND Northwestern: 57-66

In other words, when TTUN plays a common opponent of the Buckeyes, the result of the game has no real impact on the Buckeyes’ cumulative opponents’ win-loss record. If they lose to a B1G opponent that’s not on the Buckeye schedule that just means the B1G is even stronger. There’s no real downside to TTUN being horrible.

* – This includes teams the Buckeyes haven’t yet played but doesn’t include the B1G championship game because we don’t know anything for certain yet and if you think you do, shut up. But if we included it our case would have only been stronger. Trust us.

If you MUST root for TTUN, do so before conference play starts. Or do what we do and acknowledge that TTUN winning helps the Buckeyes while not actually wanting it to happen for schadenfreude-ian reasons. As far as the Buckeyes’ schedule is concerned, we’re just fine strength-wise with TTUN being 4-8 (0-8 in conference) every year. If you’re not fine with it too maybe you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why you would put yourself into a position where TTUN winning would make you happy.

Then consider drinking bleach as penance. Because people who root for TTUN are bad.

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